define:Beauty

For my fellow ladies.

Can you name a time in your life where you've felt 100% beautiful? I mean sure, we all have good hair days, or good make up days, or even days where we feel absolutely hot. But I'm asking about beauty. Have you ever looked at yourself and thought, 'Wow, I am truly beautiful'?

Beauty doesn't have to be just about looks. I believe it's more about what's on the inside. It's about the essence you have as a woman. The way in which you carry yourself portrays your beauty to those around you, and honestly, I think this is more empowering than any hairstyle or makeup trend.

Recently, I've experienced a time where I felt totally and completely beautiful: I had boudoir pictures taken for a special someone for Valentine's Day.

You may be thinking, 'But doesn't it matter more what he thinks about them than how you felt about them?' Well, I went into it with the same thought. I wanted to make him happy, and I had no intention of walking out of the photo shoot feeling as great as I did. 

The photographer has a saying that I absolutely love. Say it's for him, but do it for you.
I feel like this encompasses everything I experienced during the session.

Although boudoir pictures are not ideally the kind of photos I ever saw myself taking, I would do it a thousand times over.

I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of weird having someone take pictures of my butt and getting shots from every angle possible. But, the results were breathtaking. 

For example:



When I saw this photo, I couldn't believe I was looking at a picture of myself! I think my jaw literally dropped.
I had a million thoughts running through my head in that moment, but I mostly remember thinking, 'Is this what he means when he calls me beautiful? I am beatiful!' 

As I continued to look through the pictures from the shoot, I began to feel a sense of security in myself. I hadn't felt that in such a long time, so it was almost a completely new experience. I kept repeating myself, "Wow. Woah. I love that."

I was limited to 12 photos from the four hundred we had taken, so it was very hard to pick and choose. If I had all the money in the world, I would have bought every single picture. As I was leaving, I kept saying to myself, "Girl, you are rockin' it! You run this world! Get it!" I felt so effin' sexy!

As someone with depression, I often experience feelings of worthlessness and self hatred. Sure, I like to tell other people that I'm awesome because I want them to think that I believe it, but do I really believe it? 

As I'm getting older and going through more of what life throws at me, I'm starting to see that I am awesome. I've gone through a hell of a lot in my 21 years, and I'm still chuggin' along! I've surrounded myself with people who love every part of the crazy, irrational, unpredictable girl that I am. I've focused on my goals in my career and education and hunkered down on my responsibilities. I've learned to give more than I get and not expect anything from anyone. 

And most importantly, I've finally realized how beautiful I really am. All it took was stepping out of my comfort zone. Who woulda thunk?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To the Dash

It has been ten years since my mom died. So much has happened in ten years. An entire decade has happened without my mom being on this earth. To be honest, I don't know exactly how I feel about any of that. Is there a certain way I'm supposed to feel? Am I doing the right thing in my life? Would my mom be proud of me today? Do other people feel the same way? Throughout the day, I have been feeling very empty and fulfilled at the same time. I am empty because I no longer have a mother. She will always be my mom, yes. But she is not here with me, so do I really even have a mom? Will I ever feel her presence around me again? How do I continue through life without her? These are questions I have asked myself every single year on July 31st, but this year has been different. Today, I begin to count the decades instead of just the years. Eventually, four or five more decades will pass, but the sadness and grief will never leave. Eventually, I will be with my mom again. ...
Read more

Heartbreak, or Heart Break?

Ending a relationship is always hard. There are so many fears of the unknown and unanswered questions, and not to mention the hurt feelings. The relationship between the two of you isn't the only one that ends, either. You lose your relationship with his family, his friends, and even his dog. I think that's what makes things even harder. It seems like I've been wrapped around his finger for such a long time, that I've almost lost who I am on my own. It's impossible to pour from an empty cup, and that's just what I've been doing for the last year and a half. I love this guy, or at least the idea of him. I know it's going to take my heart some time before it will be able to love again. I know I need to make time for myself, so I can learn about my own wants and needs. I've been living in a dream where I thought I was the best a guy could get and that I deserved the world on a silver platter. Though that may be true in some instances, there will alw...
Read more